London - To celebrate his 65th birthday, Ronnie Wood took his beautiful year-old girlfriend to Venice, the city of love. As they cuddled together in a gold-encrusted gondola, Sally Humphreys leaned in adoringly for a lingering kiss - from a man almost old enough to be her grandad.
His thin, wrinkled lips were puckered like those of a man who had misplaced his dentures. His crepey skin stretched across his thin, boney face, his sun-damaged hand reached for her slender knee, his turkey neck wobbled in anticipation of a night of passion.
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To be honest, it was utterly revolting. One can only imagine that when they did make love, Miss Humphreys laid back and thought of the Bank of England.
How else can you explain the love affair between the scarecrow Wood and this lovely theatre producer? And he has offered it to many women, all young enough to be his daughters, since he separated from his wife of 24 years, Jo. Not that there is any shortage of much younger women keen to go to bed with these gnarled old codgers.
The pattern is always the same: As I discovered recently at a gathering of thirty to fifty-something women who were all single and dating, a younger woman pays an especially heavy price to be with a much older man.
And instead of a washboard stomach, they have washboard bottoms.
And, as one of my young friends revealed over dinner after her affair with a year-old, the sex can be a nightmare. One woman at the dinner, a glamorous fifty-something, told of her latest dating experience. She met an adorable man 12 years older than her who was very keen, but who suddenly stopped calling or returning her texts.