If you think that your man won't chase you, or follow the "rules" and obey the boundaries then he was never your man. Because a man who truly wants you for his woman will do all the above.
Yes, he may fidget and try to squirm out of things. And, yes, he may go silent for a bit of time because of his ego. And yes, he may walk away for a while thinking it's not worth all this. Do not doubt the impact you've had in this man's life. And, if he doesn't return once you do all these things, then you've saved yourself endless trips back and forth to that door he keeps coming and going out of.
If you are confused about which path to take, or if this man is seriously wanting you, or if this is real love, or the potential for more, you Why does a man always come back always welcome to come for a reading on your particular situation with me, or one of our many amazing advisors here.
You don't get it. This is the third, fourth, maybe even the fifth time he's walked out of your life and returned again. You feel like your heart is a revolving door where he feels he can come and go as he pleases. And each time he returns it's like a honeymoon. He's attentive and sweet. You feel hope and excitement that this time it will be different. You start to think he must really love you if he can't stay away.
You convince yourself you're soul mates and he's as connected to you as you are Why does a man always come back him. This time, you think, it will stick. As a life coach and spiritual counselor, I'm here to tell you, this is false! While he may be your soul mate, this term is wildly misused. A soul mate is someone whom you have a cosmic connection to, but it's not always a good connection.
It's a huge lesson that pushes you to extremes and one that awakens you. Yes, it can be a good union.
Most times, it's not. It's riddled with chaos and eye opening moments that change you, and promotes evolution.
Now, you can either learn from these experiences, or repeat them time and time again, usually painfully, until you get the lesson. Want to know why he keeps coming back? This isn't so much about why he keeps coming back. It's more, why do you keep taking him back? What is it within you that is allowing yourself to tolerate these departures and re-entries?
Why do you insist on putting yourself in this position. YOU are in a position of power.
YOU have the ability to set boundaries and not allow yourself to be treated in this fashion. Men will always return if there's an open door or window. And, especially, if they do not need to make a commitment and have the freedom to re-enter when they please.
If you are in this type of relationship, and this man keeps coming and going, it's time you wake up and pay attention. And there are some key points I will make that will assist you in either taking care of yourself, or closing that door behind him and dead bolting it for good. Don't mistake drama for passion. This is a common error made.
The extreme highs and the deep lows can be addictive. Going from one extreme to another releases chemicals in the brain that surge through the body and can be very misleading, and mistaken for "feel good" chemicals.
I mean, let's be honest, nothing feels better than having your heart ripped out, and then they reappear whispering sweet words and they've sewn that wound up so it can heal. It's euphoric to feel extreme angst and suffering, and then a simple call, text, or knock on the door can lift you to the heavens.
This is drama, it's not love. Someone who loves you wouldn't torture you in this fashion. Secondly, don't pay so much attention to their words. Instead, watch their actions. Love isn't a word, it's an action. You feel it on every level when it's truly love, there is an ease to it. That's not to say love doesn't have it's struggles.
However, those who love will put in the work. They will communicate, argue, debate, apologize, make things right, break a sweat to keep it together.
They don't just bolt.
Results why does a man always come back fuckbook base
They stick around because they don't want it to end either. They don't take a 2, 3, 12 week reprieve then return without any work being done. Another thing you must keep in mind is your own actions as well. There are some women that are so elated he returned they walk on eggshells. Big, big, big mistake.
I hear all the time women saying to me, " But if I tell him I need to think about it, or I need him to commit, or I state how I feel, he will leave again.
And, I've got news for you If he's not willing to hear you out, work at it, prove himself, or stay consistent with his words and actions, then sweetheart, he was going to leave again anyway. You making it hard for him isn't what is pushing him away. He didn't plan to stick around anyway, and now you're making it hard for him. It wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. And he doesn't want to do the work.
Then there are some who re-enter and you DO set boundaries and state your demands, and they nod, smile and agree, they hear you you think and Why does a man always come back let them back in only to go back to the way it was.
YOU need to be consistent and if you're not consistent with your boundaries he will over step them. You cannot go back to the way it use to be. You have to protect your heart, and you can't give away so much of yourself that you lose yourself again and put yourself in a vulnerable position.
He is returning time and again because you have, at one time, given him the permission. Whether you're aware of it or not, you have. You've allowed this to happen. You cannot continue if you want a healthy, respectful, mutual relationship. You won't Why does a man always come back able to sustain it if you continue. And you will lose pieces of yourself along the way. Slowly your self esteem is chipped away. You'll silence your own voice in his presence due to worrying he may leave.
Walking on those eggshells again. Too many times I counsel very independent, strong minded, amazing women who find themselves in this position. These aren't gullible women. They are highly intelligent, and valuable. They are loving, trusting, and understanding, and what I find is they listen to the excuse the man gives.
Such as his ex cheated on him and he's cautious; he had a messy divorce; his ex was a shrew; his childhood wasn't the best; he's had a hard life.
All of these, while valid, are merely excuses for intolerable behavior. And, what I have found, is the more boundaries we set, the more esteem we have, the more we stand firm on our beliefs and our needs, the more we will receive them.
If you continue to make excuses for this behavior the behavior will continue. If you do feel you love this man, and you do feel Why does a man always come back has the potential to change then I advise the following to find out for yourself: When he tries to return by showing up on your doorstep, don't let him in. Tell him you will discuss this later when you have more time.
And ask him to leave. When he returns via text, don't answer it.
Do not allow someone back in who attempts to do so by sending you the minimal form of communication possible. This is cowardice on his part.
This man just walked out of your life, now he's sending a text to get back in? Make him dial that phone. He's texting to test the water and see if you're open to his advances.