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Because thousands of new dates and relationships start every day on Absolute, we ask that you take responsibility to practice safe sex and not spread rumors Best things about hookup a fat girl you see someone you know here. Hooking up can be a precarious business. There's a lot that goes into getting laid that most people don't take the time to think about.
When it comes down to it, your success with the ladies hinges upon everything from your appearance to your apartment to your flirting skills. Getting laid isn't all about game or style on their own. It's about having all of those things and more together at once.
Because even if you're the smoothest guy around, you're not going to get laid if you smell like actual trash.
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So here is the ultimate guide to hooking up. In this handbook, I cover everything from personal grooming, to sliding into her DM's, to sliding it in wink, wink. Every single thing you need to know about finding a hookup is included in this article… so pay close attention.
Taking notes isn't required, but it's encouraged. Grooming isn't just for the flaming or the female. Don't get me wrong, women like a little musk. But there is a huge difference between musk and smelling like a sour gym locker.
It's one thing if you're...
So please, Best things about hookup a fat girl the sake of your sex life, spend some dedicated time in front of a mirror. Let's start with basics, shall we? To some, this section might seem like common sense… However, to some of you reading, the concept of decent hygiene has managed to elude you even into your adulthood.
Before going out on a date, or to a bar to pick up girls, or having a girl over for a dick appointment, you best take a shower. Even if it's just a body shower, please fucking shower. Rinse off your day and all the sweat that came with it before you plan on encountering any ladies.
Don't have time for a shower? Take a whore's bath with some wipes or a washcloth. You'll feel fresher, and a once-over with a wet-nap could make a world of a difference. When it comes down to it, you're going to want to smell damn good if you're looking to hookup.
This brings us to the topic of cologne… Axe almost got it right with their mantra of pit-pit-chest because you should be applying cologne to three areas but not necessarily your armpits… because your deodorant should take care of your pit stench that being said, please wear deodorant.
Spray the inside of one of your wrists with cologne, rub together with your opposite wrist, and dab behind your ears. Then either Best things about hookup a fat girl your chest or, if your cologne is especially strong, do the patented spray-delay-and-walk-away. Spray your cologne in the air, wait a moment for it to float down through the air, and then walk through the cloud of cologne with your eyes and mouth shut, you don't want to go blind or inhale that shit.
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This will make sure you're properly perfumed and keep you from smelling too harshly of cologne. You should also be making sure that you're brushing and flossing regularly. Girls will notice yellow teeth. And it's a huge turn off. If she plans on kissing you, she doesn't want a visual confirmation that your dental hygiene is anything less than stellar.
Are you notorious for getting stuff caught in your teeth?
Keep these floss things in your desk or your car, along with some Wet Ones for that whore's bath I mentioned earlier! Okay, let's talk about your scalp. Dandruff is common with both men and women; it seems more prevalent with men because women manage it better.
If you're hoping a girl is going to want to run her hands through your hair, you better not be flakey!
Get some medicated shampoo, and tea tree oil if needed, and keep your shit flake-free if you have this problem. Another thing that girls pay close attention to is a guys hands… more specifically the length and cleanliness of his nails. If your nails are too long, what girl is going to want them inside them? If they're dirty, they're definitely not going to let you slip a finger in, no matter how good the make-out sesh is.
Why The Hook Up Culture...
So keep your shit short. Keep your shit trimmed. Keep your shit clean. If you can't do this yourself, I highly recommend getting a manicure — emphasis on man.
Manicures are incredibly relaxing and cheap especially if you're not getting polish as the ladies do, but if you're into that I don't judge. Throw down 15 dollars every few weeks to get your nails done and a pretty killer forearm massage. I highly recommend these for after an intense upper-body day at the gym.
A lot of nail ladies will massage your neck too; it's the bomb. Last, but certainly not least, let's talk bout man-scaping. If you're trying to get laid, you're going to need to do something with your hair-down-there. You don't have to go total bald-eagle unless your hookup has made it clear that that's the hairstyle she prefers for your peenbut you certainly should trim.
Carefully trim your pubes to a reasonable length before you even think about grabbing a razor please be careful not to cut your balls off.
Then make sure you exfoliate a little bit sugar and coconut oil work well if you don't have any storebought on hand before lathering up with soap or shaving cream to shave. Moisturize after, with unscented lotion or coconut oil, this will keep you from getting razor burn.
As for the rest of your body hair, I'm not going to tell you what to do with it. If not, let it grow. That's totally up to you. I don't care what you do with it as long as you're clean. Another extremely vital component of your physical presence is your clothing. Dress to impress, am I right? Don't dress as the man you are, dress as the man you want to be… or, more fittingly, don't dress for the women you've had, dress for the woman you want.
You don't need to be clued into fashion at Best things about hookup a fat girl to be stylish; in my opinion, fashion and style are two completely separate things.
That being said, if you have your ear to the ground when it comes to trends, good for you! My only advice is to not go full on hype-beast when you're out with a potential hookup or out trying to hunt for one. If you show up in some wild outfit, you're likely going to either come across as too into-yourself or as too difficult to approach.
If you're dressed like you just rolled off the runway, you might be too intimidating. You want to be stylish and dress like yourself, but you also want to be approachable.
So save your drop-crotch pants and your Yeezy esc outfit for after you've already banged the girl. Make sure you're yourself while dressed appropriately for the place you're at. If the event you're at calls for a crazy outfit — a la EDC or an event of the like — then that's okay.
However, if you're going to a more casual place or event — like a smaller music venue or a bar, for example, — then make sure you're toning it down. If you're not super into fashion, going over the top might not be something you're worried about at all.
That being said, it's always better to be slightly over-dressed than under-dressed. There's no harm in wearing a button down out or throwing on a blazer if you're unsure about how formal you need to be on a night out.
If you're unsure, I recommend taking the formality one baby-step up from what you think is okay. Being slightly over-dressed will make you seem more adult and believe me, ladies like a guy who can rock some form-fitting slacks. Have a designated power outfit for going out. Have an outfit in your closet that you know you look good in and feel Best things about hookup a fat girl a badass in. This way if you don't know what to wear on any given night, you always have something ready to go that you know you're going to feel confident in.
A hookup culture is one...
Facial hair for a man is either a thing of pride or a huge point of anxiety. There doesn't seem to be much in between. And because facial hair is on your face it's just as important — if not more so — than what you choose to wear.
If you're capable of growing a full-on mountain man beard then, by all means, go for it. Best things about hookup a fat girl are sexy, but nasty beards are the absolute worst. There should be nothing in your beard other than some nice-smelling beard oil. Your face foliage should be completely free of crumbs and other debris that might find their way into your facial plumage.
To prevent your magnificent whiskers from becoming any less than well-groomed wash your beard, oil it, and keep it well trimmed. If you don't trust yourself around scissors, then find the best barbershop in town and make a regular customer out of yourself.
And when you're out on dates, hanging with a regular hookup, or going out on the town, keep a comb in your pocket. This way you can keep any crumbs out of your beard and keep it looking bomb for the ladies.
Now, if there is any doubt that your facial hair actually connects or that it looks good… it's time to be honest with yourself. Don't try to attempt going full-on-brawny-man if your facial hair looks more like fuzz than forest.
It's never been this easy.
Keep your facial hair to a nice 5 O-clock shadow that frames your face an accentuates your jawline. Dating has never been easy for me, and now add to that the fact that I'm 31 years And it wasn't just happening during late-night hookup hours.
I mean, you want to put your best foot forward, so they're Best things about hookup a fat girl of me when I A big girl working at, say, a law firm may be more inclined to wear all non-fitted.
The desire to be attractive is natural enough, in fact it is universal. Too short, too fat— and too skinny, for that matter—are not attractive. I might say in this connection that if a seduction has gotten to the point where a woman has taken off Therefore, the proper weight for someone who is trying to look his or her best is.
It's one thing if you're not into fat women — everyone has their If a fat woman wants a purely sexual relationship, that's great, but it shouldn't.
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